• ♥ • iLLiuEduxx • ♥ •

Have you ever felt so down, the kind that you want to cry it out so loud?
Have you ever felt so lost, and all you you can ever do is sit in a corner and cry?
Have you ever felt so alone, and all you ever want is to have someone - that cares -
by your side?
Have you ever felt a heartache so deep that all you can do is scream you  had enough,
but still no one heard your call?
Have you ever felt that everyone you love, everyone you care for doesn’t feel the same
way?Have you ever felt you do not exist && invinsible?
or Have you ever felt that everyone wants you dead?

As for me, if you ask me those questions, the answer would be yes. Why? because as far
as I could remember everyone, I think everyone, never jad the time ti see the real me.
They always question things that is beyond my capacity. I never felt I was welcome in
this world. My family && same with my friends always see me as someone that is weird,
an outcast, far out, a destroyer, and even my sister once called me as ET (Extra terrestrial)
(so do you see what I mean). For all I know, they never thought or never did they thought
that i’d be hurt by those accusations or maybe they never treated me as someone with
feelings.

Well, I do believe that life is a tough ride but I never thought it would be this
though, I mean it’s never easy tolive with the persons who hate && don’t understand you.
They always want to provoke me in such way that I never felt I was loved, or ever cared for.
I know everyone is not perfect and same with that I also make mistakes, but why do people
deal more on the dark side rather than the good one? People are more focused on your your
darkside than to the other. Sometimes, I wish I was not born as a human being, so I
can never feel the wrath of the people around me. I do think, in some ways, cats, dogs &&
other pets are far more lucky than me, I mean they have there masters who care && love them
&& treat them like family, and like them. But I guess, being hurt is part of my destiny
and its thhe destiny  I have to face. The reality I have to surpass.

“it always okay not to be understood by some people all around you, but
its the other way around when the one you cared for, you love, you trust and the
one you shared your life with.”

My life changed
The moment you came
Things became brighter
And life seems to be easier

You make me feel at ease
Its as if, you make my problems seize
With you, everything seems to fall in place
And you always paint laughters in my face

Dull moments change its meaning
When I am with you all day wandering
I never wanted someone so bad
And yhea, you’re the best person I ever had.

I love the way you make me feel loved
The way you captured my heart & had it wrapped
I love the way you look at me
And the way you let me be

It maybe kinda clichéd
and do sound a bit funny [in anyway]
But I guess I just have to say it,
“Darn! what would I do without you ryan!”

I lit a candle by a mirror

Bewildered and Stunned I came

Saw myself in two angles

With the questions change or remain

Beneath thy eyes

I saw both of you there

He stood up with eyes so shallow

Full of appeal and sense

He said he’d be by my side forever

But he never were to stay longer

He promised not to make me tear

But he broke my heart then after

You came,

And made my life brighter

You stood by my side

And choose to make me happier

And now,

I know the answer.

But the fact is,

I don’t know if I still believe in “forever.”

When I close my eyes
All I see is you
The memories with you, came rushing through
Darkness gently then, makes me feel so blue

I thought you never wanted me to be hurt
I thought you were gonna stay forever
Like said before
So baby why wont you tell me now, why did you have to go?

Then I dreamed
That you and I are together once again
But then laughters then brought tears,
Guess, forever’s not thar long as it used to be

Now I stay up lated again this night
Hoping that someday, yes someday
You will find your way back
Even if I know you will never do that

I thought you never wanted me to be hurt
I thought you were gonna stay forever
Like said before..

I thought you never wanted me to be hurt
I thought you were gonna stay forever
Like said before
So baby why wont you tell me now, why did you have to go?

Baby, just tell me now..
"Why did you have to go?"

What if I did stop believin` that you`d stiLL come, &&
start movin` on?
Would you even bother to care?
Ohhw..i know you would`nt hunnie, so why bother to try
& worry myself about that?
If I know one day.
Yhe`, one day..
I`m gonna accompLish aLL of that without worrying how.

^^,toodLezz..
boii..bHa-bye?!…

I knew that this would happen from
the start
But still I took the risk and gave
it all my heart
I knew that one day this would all come
But still I gave it my all even if
I knew I wouldnt earn some

I knew "Forever" for you ment "never"
Even my friends thought so, but I gave
you the chance, that’s why I did’nt blew
off your cover
I know, I’ve always been so stupid honey
But still, I never thought that you’re
more stupid than me

I knew, I’m no match for her
But still, being me is a whole lot better
I know, writting this is much funnier
than I ever thought
But still, it’s the only way to be over
with the loneliness you just brought

I knew its kindabad if I fall for you
this hard
But still, I gave it the shot, & didn’nt
even thought of putting on guard
Guess I was a total jerk to trust on such
manner
But still, I believe Letting you go is
really the matter.

I knew that parting like this will be
really awefull [on my part of course]
But guess what Im still thankful
You see, you were once everything to me
boy

I loved you so much but you willed it to
be destroyed
Never did I thought of ending it this way
But hey, you made me realize this:
"I’m better of with out you anyway!!"

What id you and I are not really meant
for each other?
Would you care to bother?
What if our dreams are made to be
shattered?
Would it even matter?

What if horoscopes says, Im bound to
hurt you?
Would you still love me and be true?
What if the one you loved in the past
comes back?
Would you stay or would you take other track?

What if one day Ill forget you?
Would you try giving me some clues?
or what if one day you left me && found out
Im dead?
Would you even miss me & be sorry for what
you did?

There are so many things in my mind right
now
But there’s one thing I really wanna ask you
somehow
Why..just tell me why do I miss & love you like this?
And even if you goof around like that  why do you
always give me bliss?

———————————————————

..ohhw?!.this was i wanted you to read when you where in’
my pLace..but you just left the paper in the side table of my
bed..*sigh*

I just thought you would love to read the poems I made just
for you but, you were too busy on the cuddlin` and stuff!?

but I get it!?.
WE are over after aLL?!.
so no need to bother reading this..hihi♥
bhu-bye..
there are no next times heart!!

I was gripped by my past

And I never thought that it wouldn’t last

I never thought of ending such

But fate willed it and I couldn’t breach much

Maybe that was really the time to cry my goodbye

I don’t have any other option but to try

Fate makes me feel a lot like crazy sometimes

But at one point it then, made me realized

Things that could change the way I live my life

And was the only thing that kept me from that knife

I know that things just and do have to revolutionize

And when it does you just have to fantasize.

Out of the blue

Here I am, waiting with no clue

Vanity then, slowly enthralls my soul

As pain gently captures me as a whole

Memories from the past keep haunting me inside

As illusions keeps my mind fixed, to what I think is right 

I know in an instant, things could possibly go wrong

And my heart would again be wrapped with prongs

And yes, in no time it did

And I wished I was just a baby crying within the crib

Days, weeks, months, and years have passed

And the feeling just seem to last

I just don’t know what to do

The whole thing now seems to be untrue

Only the good side about you is all I see

And being angry is so not me

I know I have to leave these things behind

But no matter how hard I try I always end up getting bind

I don’t know until when I will elude you

But I know deep within me this feeling isn’t true

I miss you maybe,

But I don’t love you truly

I know writing this makes me like a bard

But hey, let’s just say you were lucky boy, you made

me fall for you that hard.

Nakatigin sa mga ulap

Heto ako at nangangarap

Na ang yung’ ngiti’y aking masilayan

Yung mga yakap ay aking maramdaman

Hinahangad na

sana

ika’y nasa tabi ko

Para

ma ibsan ang pagkalungkot kung ito

At para ipadama sayo

Ang labis na pagmamahal na nadarama ko.